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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Joke of the Moment…

Today’s Joke of the Moment comes to us courtesy of last week’s episode of “My Name Is Earl”. Ok its loosely based because I can’t remember exactly how it goes but this is close enough.

“A pirate walks into a bar after a long voyage and orders a drink. He has the ships  wheel sticking out the front of his pants. The bartender looks at the pirate and says  “Hey, you’ve got the ships wheel sticking out the front of your pants.” The pirate says  “Arrrggh..I know..it’s drivin’ me nuts…”

HA HA HA HA HA…wooo…so funny… I need a kleenex

I love NPR…

More specifically, NPR.org since I can no longer listen to the radio with my kids. “Why are you listening to people talking again. We want banjo music.” Yes, thank you to my husband for that Earl Scruggs CD. He gets to go to work and I get to listen to banjo music. At least Christmas is over and I can hide the Rudolph soundtrack for another year. But I digress…

I have recently found an NPR blog called MonkeySee. It is just a fun place to visit and read about various entertainment things. I saw this one entry and it is very well done. So, something else to burn up a few minutes of your day…

About that “Merry Xmas” punched juice can lid with glued on plastic holly I gave you last year…

Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It’s like a tangible thing that you can point to and say, “Hey man, I love you…this many dollars.”

— Michael Scott, The Office

Burn that holiday fat…

So all you out there, when you are done loading on the pounds tomorrow, make sure you get yourself one of these bad boys.

I think this thing may make the Segway look cool…

Adaptation…

See. Those crafty spiders…

BioServe Space Tech. / Univ. of Colo.

They have already adaptated to their new environment. Watch out I say!!! At least they found the second one.

Wait..you mean there should be two???

The space shuttle is hooked up with the space station and they are doing some additions on to the space station. Adding a new bedroom, fridge, kitchenette…your basic zero-gravity remodel. A bunch of science experiments went up with the shuttle as well, including two orb spiders to see how effectively they would spin a web with no gravity. Not very well as it turns out…

NASA TV

NASA TV

 

Not the pretty, symmetrical web we are all used to seeing. Guess it’s a bit hard when you are just floating around.

The thing is that there should be TWO spiders and they could only find ONE spider. I guess the spider habitat has a couple of different rooms and he could be in another section. ‘He is not loose running around on the space station’ NASA is quick to point out.

Right…have these people never seen ALIENS? or any other number of sci-fi thrillers where the creature is contained in its maximum secured box only to escape, mutate, and go on a merciless acid-spit rampage? The first rule when dealing with critters in space — you are NEVER safe. They will probably all go to sleep and wake up in the spider version of a single serving freshness sealed pouch.

Now I will be the first to admit I have a serious spider phobia. I can deal with the tiny ones but I am not much good with anything bigger than oh say…a tic tac. So just the idea of one of those things floating around aimlessly would have me in the nearest space suit checking out the space station from the outside. Of course, this being sci-fi, the little bugger would already be in my suit! Blast…should have seen that one coming!

I may be a slacker but….

I am not a hoser —

This poor guy. I read a news story about how he gets caught at a car wash having er…romantic..ah..intimate…um dang. He was having relations with a car wash vacuum. Now this is so sad, beyond the obvious fact that this guy is really desperate, it is so extremely nasty. I know what comes out of my own van. Nasty half chewed french fries, soggy goldfish crackers, lint covered gummy things… I hope it was worth it for him. I guess people are having to be thrifty about everything these days…

After a couple weeks of economic doldrums I think some giggles are allowed.

this is hilarious…

A new show is coming out this fall called Hole in the Wall. It is based upon this game show from Japan —

Two peas in a pod…

So Ben has a tendancy to be a bit OCD at times. Unfortunately, Sebbie is now at the age where he likes to do what Ben is doing and so I get two boys with weird issues.

Like peas.

Ben won’t eat peas from the store. If they come from our garden then they are ok which is fine I guess.

But now he has started to shell them.

Not from the pod mind you… the actual pea itself.

So not only does it take ten years to eat a meal, he leaves all these sad little pea carcasses lying around.

Of course, Seb has had to jump on this bandwagon too. Although, he is not quite as patient as Ben and after one or two peas he feels he has fulfilled his quota of “crazy” for the day.

I guess I should applaud the practice Ben is getting in fine motor skills. Hmmm maybe he will become a surgeon and buy me that beach house. I better get some more peas 🙂

Public Service Announcement

I feel that it is my civic duty to make sure you all know about this. I warn you that it is vile and unimaginable in its heinousness. What is this scourge, this pestilence,  you ask? REFORMULATED TANG!!

So it has been a long time since I had Tang. My last purchase was so old it had formed, or deformed, into a massive clump in the jar. But it is good. An ice cold glass of sweet Tangy goodness after a hot day of doing…whatever. So I buy some at the store and I bring it home. I put it in the cupboard and after a nasty 90 degree day in sticky, thick humidity I want a glass of cold, yummy Tang. I mix it up, suck it back and promptly my mouth forms into a horrid grimace of disbelief. That aftertaste — that sucralose induced aftertaste. Bleck. They screwed with my Tang and put sucralose in it. And no. I didn’t accidentally buy diet Tang…as if, Marty. I don’t get why every company is jumping on this band wagon. Sucralose does not taste like sugar people. Seriously, if you want to cut back on your sugar that bad you probably should just drink water and not Tang anyway. Especially when you finish the glass and there is still a half inch of Tang sludge at the bottom. Awesome!  But I digress. So if you like sucralose then Tang is it baby. If not, you are out of luck it appears and, you can join me in the ranks of those yearning for the “better days” 🙂

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